Why I've Been Going Off Script

I've always had trouble picking a narrative and sticking to it.

After my gig at another blog ended, I started this one as a way to continue what I'd been doing, but maybe with a little more freedom. As much as I enjoy writing about music, I often have trouble linking the political with the pop. If it's not blatantly obvious, I've been writing a series of posts detailing my own relationship with feminism, and the feminist blogosphere. As someone who is more often a reader than an active participant, it feels a little fraudulent. Sort of like being the girl who sits in the back of class saying nothing, but secretly judging everything.

A short bit of blogging history: I started out with a personal, diary-type blog. I found a friendly little community of women around my age, some parents, but some not, and for a while, it was nice. But I wasn't clever enough to make the minutiae of my daily like interesting, and I really liked writing about music, so I did that on the side. Eventually, I was writing about women and music for a "big deal" women's site. I felt -- I don't -- validated in a way I hadn't, but also that I had to play it "safe" and not rock the boat. I was almost relived when I was let go, because I could concentrate my own blog and make it whatever I wanted. Even though I'd given up on my personal blog, my music writing was always heavy on the anecdotal. And even though I never pegged myself as a feminist blogger, I'm a feminist who blogs, so it's kind of unavoidable.

I don't know where I'm going with Five Dollar Radio, but I'd love to marry the three in some way that doesn't make me feel I'm giving up on my original idea. I restarted my Tumblr for anything I deem unworthy of my "real" blog, but if I feel a longer post coming on, it has to go here. Change is good.