Monday, August 29, 2011

On Derailing, Calling-Out, and Other Obstacles in Modern Communication

I really enjoyed, and largely agree with, Kristen's post on gratitude, but what went on in the comments section is a perfect example of why I tend to cling to the margins of the feminist/SJ blogosphere and rarely participate.

I suppose it's hypocritical to take my aggressions out on my own blog, rather than comment on the original post, which has nothing to do with me, but I find it's much easier to craft a response with the breathing space my own site offers me -- rather than dashing off something I'll probably regret later -- and remain far from the fray. I'm willing to take that chance.

What I object to is the argument that this shouldn't have been Kristen's post to write. Being in a place of relative power and privilege, she should have checked herself before using someone else's experience to illustrate her point, which in theory, this is completely valid. But I think the problem comes with trying to apply it in life, as nothing happens in a bubble. She ran it by the person in question, who has no interest in blogging, and was given permission to use her experience in her post. No one was silenced. It's unfortunate that happened, because what could have been a great discussion about gratitude and whether it's "owed" or not, was momentarily steered off track.

I hate singling Feministe out, because it is one of the few big sites I feel comfortable commenting, but I see this frequently on blogs with a large and varied commentariat. I think what happens is people get the theory without the real world application. Real life is thornier than a blog's comments, but it makes trying to have a conversation frustrating as hell, and sometimes -- nay, most of the time -- the only place where a lot of us can talk about issues of race, gender and class is online.

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