Writers on Writing: Dorothy Allison

"When feminism exploded in my life, it gave me a vision of the world totally different from everything I had ever assumed or hoped. The concept of a feminist literature offered the possibility of pride in my sexuality. It saved me from either giving up writing entirely, or the worse prospect of writing lies in order to achieve some measure of grudging acceptance. But at the same time, Feminism destroyed all my illusions about Literature. Feminism revealed the city as an armed compound to which I would never be admitted. It forced me to understand, suddenly and completely, that literature was written by men. The city itself was a city of Man, a male mind even when housed in a female body. If that was so, all my assumptions about the worth of writing, particularly working-class writing, were false." -- Dorothy Allison from Skin: Talking About Sex, Class and Literature 

This is a pretty lengthy passage, but there's a lot of truth in it that goes beyond writing and literature: feminism has destroyed my illusions about everything, including feminism itself.

I don't want to turn this into some sort of academic screed, so I'll just ask, "Where do you go with that? What do you do once you've realized your own lack of agency?" It's strangely freeing knowing your words probably won't be taken seriously, but it won't sustain a career.

Feminism has made me question everything, especially those "universal truths." And I'd be lying if I said feminism hasn't made me a better writer, or at the very least, a more conscientious one. It's also made me a better media consumer, and while I still like the idea of a "cannon," I know who decides what is art and what is commerce, and it's a less than democratic process. In Skin, Allison talks about teaching her students to judge for themselves what's good and what's not: literature is nothing but subjective.

Allison is also unafraid to talk about the unglamorous side of writing: not the hard work that goes into putting words on paper, but the intense self-loathing and questioning whether you're "worthy" of the craft. She reminds me of Gloria Anzaldúa in that respect. I hate guides that talk about writing as something as natural as breathing, and "oh what glorious fun" it is to create. It's more like picking a scab.