Are we reluctant to accept a female anti-hero?

Though I'm not exactly its target demographic, I'm really enjoying MTV's Awkward. On the surface, it's not big departure from any other teen sitcom: it centers around a high-school girl, Jenna, who  nearly halfway through the second season now, has had parent drama, an accident mistaken for a suicide attempt that was so ridiculously scripted it could have only come from the same network that was once home to Beavis and Butthead, the general ennui that comes with being a teenager, but mostly boyfriend drama -- namely having to choose between "good guy" Jake, and troublesome Matty. For a show with somewhat stereotypical plot devices, it's surprisingly good. The writing is smart and nuanced, and although it's not "real" and "groundbreaking" in the sense that My So-Called Life was purported to be nearly twenty years ago; it's still grounded in humor rather than gritty realism. More importantly, though, Jenna isn't the show's moral centerboard -- sometimes she's even pretty unlikeable --  and this makes fans uncomfortable. She also has sex, and not the kind sitcom sex of my generation which was only about consequences. She actually gets to enjoy it. These are a few comments from the show's TWoP board:

I said early on that I liked this show IN SPITE of the fact that its protagonist is spineless and a poor choice for a role model. Now that's come back to bite me. It's like "Something Borrowed," which I thought was pretty well written and enjoyable if not for the fact that I loathed the weak, no self esteem having "heroine." Jenna is that kind of "heroine." 

Jenna has shown herself to be incredibly weak willed multiple times. If she didn't like Jake at all and only wanted Matty, I don't think she'd waste the time or energy dating Jake. She'd run back to Matty like he just threw a chew toy in her general direction. I think that everyone involved is playing it sincere. Jenna had feelings for Matty, and now she has feelings for Jake (while making decisions about where those feelings for Matty ultimately ended up). 

I think this is a cute show (and I hate myself a little that I do, since Jenna is a terrible role model even though I understand she is relatable).

Admittedly, there are quite a few problems with the show that should be addressed: its lack of diversity, clumsily played jokes that rely on racist or transphobic tropes, and that many of the characters are pretty one-dimensional, but the onus on its lead being "a good role model" is part of a larger narrative about women and the cost of being imperfect.

Sady Doyle recently wrote about our fascination with flawed women in the real world, and I think it sheds a lot of light on how society views women who "fuck up" compared to men:

Of course, men also flame out. Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen would be two of the more obvious examples; there’s also the massive public appetite for bad news about self-plagiarizing and quote-fabricating Jonah Lehrer. But men, in order to be portrayed as wrecks, often have to break real rules: They have to abuse partners, be violent, go on racist tirades a la Gibson or Michael Richards, or make up a quote from Bob Dylan. Men who are merely self-destructive, mildly cruel, promiscuous or rebellious are heroes, not freak shows.

Granted, it's a pretty big leap from a character on a sitcom cheating on her boyfriend to a celebrity flame-out, or a near-fatal overdose, but the expectations, and the eventual letdown exist in the same world.