Being Liked vs Being Respected

Jessica Valenti wrote a great piece  on the feminist implications of being "liked" versus being "respected" for The Nation this week. She says:

"Besides, being liked is overrated. Wanting to be liked means tempering your thoughts as to not offend. Wanting to be liked means not arguing vociferously with a female peer—something that could improve and add to your ideas—for fear that they’ll be insulted or that they won’t want to be friends. Wanting to be liked means agonizing over every negative comment in an online thread, even if they’re coming from people you don’t care about and don’t think much of."

But the world is not the feminist blogosphere, and while I myself delete any comment not worth discussion, I know that won't fly beyond the sanctity and safety of my own blog. Sometimes you have to be nice to be respected, or at least become skilled at pretending to be nice.