When women write me, they never, ever tell me that I am “a very good writer” and to “keep up the good work” because there isn’t enough decent writing on the Internet. Women say things like “that post on consent changed my life,” or “Now I know I’m not alone/crazy/hysterical.”I don't really get fan mail, however, I've been in and out of forums before most of today's big name bloggers could pronounce "Usenet," and yeah, that's sadly accurate.
Dudes, on the other hand, always feel compelled to inform me that they disagree with me (this is a non-negotiable component of dude fan mail), but that they are nevertheless are willing to be entertained by me.
Granted a short but sweet "keep up the good work" isn't, by far, the worst thing someone's said to me online, but the subtext, coming from someone who just went out of his way to tell you how glaring wrong you are, is just a wee bit too close to "You know, you're pretty smart for a girl (but I still think you're wrong."
Here's the thing guys -- and yes, I risk making grand, sweeping generalizations here, but it is usually guys invalidating the experiences of women. I suggest checking out The Male Privilege Checklist courtesy of Alas, a Blog . Most of what I've experienced online is the more covert, harder-to-prove, kind of sexism that comes with a lot of unrecognized privilege. It doesn't make it any better, but knowing my experience essentially mirrors that of other women is comforting.
*Inspired by Jezebel's "crap email from a dude" series.
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