Men in Feminist Spaces

(In the spirit of disclosure, parts of this were definitely inspired by the BIG thing that happened in the feminist blog world last week. I'd rather not link to it because a) I don't want to give its subject any more traffic or publicity, and b) I truly don't have a dog in this fight, but men's roles in the feminist blogosphere is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.)

Can a man be a feminist? I'd say in most cases, no, a man cannot be a feminist as men don't benefit from feminism unless they are willing to reject the advantages that come with being a man in a society that rewards maleness, and I don't see a lot of men actually doing that. So under the circumstances, should a man have access to feminist spaces, specifically online spaces? The short answer? I don't know.

Had you asked me this a year ago, my answer would have been entirely different. I don't like telling someone what his "place" is anymore than I like being told to stay in mine, but watching this latest mess unfold, I'm not sure anymore. Without a big banner that says "Do Not Enter," you can't really prevent someone from participating in any public forum except with very draconian comment moderation, something I'm not entirely comfortable with either. And how does community happen in the first place when not all its members are in the same headspace, or have the same set of tools and vocabulary? As one commenter  put it, "We’re in a weird place when we can’t accept that all participants are on different areas of the learning curve." Of course, after just writing a post arguing that it's not the community's place to educate, I feel like a complete hypocrite.

The only answer I can give is the same one for anybody entering a space created for marginalized groups, and is what I try to follow myself: their voices and experiences are privileged over yours. Educate yourself as much as you can, and by educating yourself, I mean listening to the voices of the community.

I'm writing this with great trepidation, and I'm curious what other people think. As a commenter myself I'm only a fringe-dweller, so my outsider position limits my perspective.

(Edit 1/1/12: I removed a link that was no longer active. Out of respect for the blogger's privacy, I probably shouldn't have in the first place, though at the time the link was public and I wanted to acknowledge that some of the things mentioned in this post were inspired by others.)