Lately, I've been reading a lot about the right to be feminine -- a woman's choice to wear makeup, heels, even, gasp, the occasional "slut clothes." A few months ago, someone in Tumblr feed left a message that said, "Every woman should own "slut clothes" and even wear them sometime." Slut is a pretty loaded term, and I don't begrudge anyone wanting to reclaim it, but slut doesn't carry the same set of connotations for every woman. I wish this were addressed more often (or ever) in the feminist blog world. In other words, it's easier to reclaim "slut" when you're privileged on every other axis.
I think what bothers me most, though, is that any criticism is often seen as an attack on women and feminism itself. When someone prefaces a post with "I don't wear makeup (or heels, or short skirts) for anyone but myself," (like here ), it should be okay to counter with, "Okay, but your actions don't exist in a bubble." I don't have to wear concealer or lipstick, but I know I'm treated a little nicer if my dark circles are well-hidden and my lips are rosier. And from my own experiences as a working-class woman, and being around other working-class women, the word slut doesn't simply mean a sexually available woman, but one who hasn't learned to code-switch properly and play the part of a middle-class "good girl."
This comment , from a Feministe post titled, Confessions of a Fun Feminist, is a pretty accurate description of the fine line working-class women walk to be seen as competent as their middle-and-upper class sisters:
When push comes to shove, it matters a whole hell of a lot whether my [working-class] grandmother presents as “trashy” or middle class. People who count are going to take me seriously because I have credentials. My grandmother has nothing to go on but her self-presentation. If I show up at the doctor in sweats and no makeup, the doctor will look at my chart and see that I’m a grad student at a prestigious university and talk to me like I have a brain, even though I’m a slob. If my grandmother does the same, the doctor will assume she’s stupid and make decisions for her. There’s not as much at stake for me.When I first read this, I wrote:
This perfectly illustrates why I could never embraced the word “slut,” and subsequently, slutwalks. It’s easy to call yourself a slut when you’re a middle/upper-middle class person with the “right credentials” because at the end of the day, those things still get to define you, whether you’re a “slut” or not. Yeah, “trashy” is kind of a problematic word, but my grandmother was exactly the same way: always present better than what you are. My mom and her brother grew up on the poor side of working-class, but their clothes had to be spotlessly clean, starched and pressed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of my mother in play clothes, and that attitude filtered down to me. To this day, I’ve never worn sweats or flip-flops in public.I know this post can easily be interpreted as slut-shaming on my part (in fact, I'm pretty sure it will be). Women without class or race privilege are often sexualized in a way that women with are not, which makes wanting to reclaim that kind of sexualization harder to do.
I really liked this post! Class privilege is sadly something that tends to be forgotten or delegated to the margins of some feminist discussions, even though it really is central. And I agree with the varying defining value of the word slut as you put it here - it makes a lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteI'm here from Feministe, and I've subscribed.
ReplyDeleteMy folks are country people, and I've seen exactly the same thing you describe. I may have the degree, but people don't see that. They see a very tall, very large middle-aged woman and I get treated better if my hair is done and I'm wearing nicer clothing and a little makeup. I never, ever go out without my dentures in.
It struck me, looking at pictures of the 1950s, how "dressed up" the women and children of color looked. The dresses were clean and fairly fancy, almost what I would consider a party dress, just for a trip to the dime store. And then I remembered they were countering the dirty and lazy stereotypes.
Presentation is everything.
I recently bumped my nose on the class connotations of "slut" while writing. One character is treating it as meaning "someone who likes sex." The other character hears it as "lower-class, promiscuous and unappealing."