Thursday, December 13, 2012

Mom blogger who thinks there's something wrong with boy wearing pink shoes was asking for controversy

As someone without kids, I don't usually try to imagine what I would or wouldn't do when it comes to raising them, and I don't try to judge other women's parenting skills. But when a parenting blogger claims that another mother was "asking for controversy" by allowing her son to wear pink shoes designed for a girl, I have to weigh in. A Facebook photo of the little boy shod in a pair of pink zebra-print slippers vent viral earlier this week. This is what The Stir's Mary Fischer had to say:
"But at the tender age of 6? Yeah, his little self-esteem just isn't ready for that sort of torture, and as his mother, it's my job to protect him as best I can. That being said, if he really wanted a pair of pink shoes, I'd buy him the shoes and let him wear them around the house at home where he's free from outside judgement. Other than the privacy of our own home, however, we're sticking to sneakers and other "boy" shoes and all other items of clothing. Bullying is bad enough as it is without handing tormentors their material on a silver platter."
I understand the desire to protect one's children from bullying and ridicule, but saying that the boy is courting bullying by not conforming to some pretty rigid gender norms is like saying a girl with a short skirt (or you know, clothes) is just "inviting" negative attention. How about doing something about the bullying rather than focusing on what the victim should be doing to protect himself?

The comments at Cafemom were, for the most part, supportive of the boy and his mother's decision to let him wear the shoes, but there were many that just left me shaking my head. Comparing letting kids chose their own clothing with eating whatever they want, whenever they want, is just dumb. And while we're on the subject, how about we stop with this trope: "I did (something that goes against society's gender norms) and I turned out okay." (i.e. "not gay.") Well meaning, but turning out gay is still okay.

2 comments:

  1. Ugh.. The stir. I loathe that place but every so often I find myself caught up in a good hate-read.

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  2. And in the end the kid didn't even get picked on by kids, only adults. In my memory, kids like different things if the person seems confident about what they're doing. New fads or long-term change gets started somehow.

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