(* For the sake of clarity, I'm using binary terms to refer to gender roles, not gender itself.)
When I was growing up, household chores weren't divided up along gendered lines. It was less a function of feminism than it was whoever was the least tired at the end of the day did the thing that needed to be done. My dad did laundry, my mom took out the trash. Both mowed the lawn. Even going back another generation, I watched my grandfather food shop and do laundry, too.
I wasn't immune to popular culture; I didn't grow up in a vacuum. I knew there were some things that society deemed "man things" and other "women things," but the lines weren't so deeply drawn in the sand. I thought things had changed enough and for the better than the reason my mom didn't wear pearls and heels during the day, a la June Cleaver, was the same reason it wasn't out of the ordinary to watch her stand over the barbeque grill like a dude in a "kiss the cook" apron.
I didn't, and still don't, think my experience is unique, but every now and then I read something online delineating "man" chores and "woman" chores and wonder if I actually was raised in some sort of feminist utopia.
The man always drives on family trips.
Not my dad. He doesn't drive at all. Mine is the ultimate backseat driver armed with a printout from Google maps and yelling, "This way, no that way. Turn here. No, there. East. East!"
Changing light bulbs.
This usually falls on me since I'm the one with the longest arms and the best sense of balance.
"Building" a piece of furniture.
Putting a couple screws in an Ikea desk is hardly "building." I will concede this one, however. My dad did actually build some of my bedroom furniture as a kid -- a desk and a small bookshelf.
Silliness aside, I am a little flummoxed that in 2013, we're still labeling household chores as male and female things. What about those who've grown up with a single mom? Or non-heteronormative parents?
Grew up with a mother and stepfather, spent a lot of time with married grandparents and some with a single dad.
ReplyDeleteI saw everyone do everything. Grandpa had to make lunch for me because Grandma worked. Dad had to cook and do laundry for me when I was up on weekends (he quickly found out running the washer gave me a sense of Phenomenal Elemental Power! and taught me how). Mom fixed things and could program a microwave and VCR before any man of the family.
I've always handled most of the household work, because my employment history is patchy and part time, while my husband's is full time.
That includes putting together furniture, hanging a ceiling fan, (lightbulbs usually fall to our youngest and tallest son).
When I was a truck driver, I drove as little as possible off the road, preferring to be chauffeured. When my husband comes in off the road, I will offer him the same courtesy.