Links & Bits: 7/5/12

Tiger Beatdown's Emily Manuel  talks about straight peoples's reactions to Anderson Cooper's coming out.

Somer Sherwood explains what it's like to be a synesthete.

Latoya Peterson's piece for Raciailicious on Louis CK's casting choices

No thanks...

I'm a little surprised at the unanimous er, arousal, over at xojane at this line from the over-blogged and much maligned girls:

"The "thing" is this line, which happened at the end of a scene in which Marnie, who has a boyfriend, engages in a flirtation with a pretentious artist she meets at an opening. The line is delivered after Marnie informs him that she's not going to kiss him."

In full: "I want you to know, the first time I fuck you I might scare you a little. Because I'm a man, and I know how to do things."

Maybe I'm showing my age, but depending on the deliverer of said line I'd either a) run, b) laugh, or c) say something equally silly like "Not if I scare you first." (Or  better yet, "I'm a woman and I know the power of a restraining order.") Tell me I'm not alone: is this the least sexy thing to ever come from a scriptwriter's pen?

Jealousy is a perfectly valid emoition

This is my mantra every time I read something about jealousy -- how petty it is, and how we as women should "be above it" and supportive of each other.

The comments on this post are pretty disappointing in this respect. I'll even grant that the writer maybe seemed a little too entitled, but that doesn't mean her jealousy over her wildly successful classmate is any less valid, or that's it's something so shameful it need to be hidden away with a less than convincing declaration: "Sure, I'm happy for her -- really I am."

(Jane's marginalia is worth noting, too: "It is important to me though that we keep in mind that someone else's gain is not your loss. Especially among women where a gain for another girl is a gain for us all. Let's all root each other on and pull each other up." I wish that were true, but the gains of one well-connected, privileged on nearly every axis woman doesn't mean we're all winning.)

Jealousy itself isn't bad. Jealousy can be a fantastic motivator, plus it can provide enough awareness that we don't actually live in a meritocracy: hard work isn't always rewarded.

I think the bigger issue stems from what kinds of behaviors and emotions are encouraged in women, even within a feminist context: women are expected to be competitive, but not with each other. What really bothered me was that a lot of the comments veered too closely to the old trope that jealousy is really "unbecoming." Maybe stewing in it isn't the healthiest thing in the world, but I don't think we should be denying ourselves those emotions either.